Yesterday was a freaky deeky filled day at the library. Besides being short staffed and completely busy and stuck working with 75% of my co-workers who I absolutely don't like (because they're bitchy and lazy), and dealing with weirdo customers, I was totally wiped out. The problem was that we'd already planned on going to the Exotic Dancer National Championships at the Pink Pony, after reading about it in Creative Loafing. After eating supper, going grocery shopping and getting dressed, it was pretty late (for me, anyway). We both were feeling slightly weird, so I suggested we just drive toward there and see how we felt.
I've never been to a strip club before. The one exception was the Clermont, this Atlanta landmark where all of the strippers are fat or scared or old or saggy and the folks who show up on weekend are mostly there to dance to funk music. (Their big draw is Blondie, a middle-aged, black stripper who smashes beer cans between her giant breasts.) From what I know about strip clubs, I dont like them. I dont like desperate, smarmy, degrading situations where the men act like pigs and the women play along to earn the big bucks. But I've also known lots of people who go to the clubs down here and have a good time. Im a modern, liberated, sex-positive gal....whats the big deal? Especially with the championships going on...it wouldn't be like a real strip club anyway. Maybe there would be big groups of friends, or couples or folks who wouldnt normally go there like us. Maybe it would be fun. Or a revelation. Or just plain interesting.
Being the enormous geeks we are, we drove by and just didnt want to go. We drove up and down Buford Highway, analyzing how we felt. I kept switching..no, yes, no, yes. Finally, we just decided to do it. I wanted to prove to myself that it wasnt a big deal. I wanted to see what a strip club was like. Worst case scenario---it would feel awkward and nasty and we'd leave. Fine.
By the time we rolled in, it was about 10:30ish and the parking lot was packed. We paid $3 for parking, $10 a piece to get in, and then entered the Pink Pony. The place itself was huge. Lots of neon lights and bars and little stages for the dancers to work on...a bit like how I imagine a casino in Vegas. There were bars scattered throughout and lots of people. What a mix--couples, lesbians, groups of friends, business partners out on the town, conventioners, regulars, you name it. It was loud, and of course, the drinks were expensive. ($5 beers and $7 tiny mixed drinks). We found a spot to stand by the main stage. Truthfully, it really wasnt a big deal. Good music. Lots of interesting people watching. Pretty girls taking off their clothes. And mostly, strippers have FABULOUS shoes!!!
Three masters contestants performed while we were there, each one doing three to five songs. First, the woman would come out in full clothing, setting the style with the songs she selected. She would keep her clothes on for the first song. By the end of the second song, she'd be down to bikini/undies. By the third song, naked. After that, more naked and tricks--like smooshing their boobs in someone's face, or throwing posters/t-shirts into the audience, or pouring oil all over themselves. Two other strippers served as MC's between the acts. Pretty typical stuff--lots of brainless banter and flashing the crowd. But good lord...those two woman had the biggest breasts I've ever seen. (One of which was poorly done implants.)
The first dancer looked a bit like Lita Ford. Long blond hair and all leather, dancing to Motley Crue and other heavy metal songs. She was high energy and pretty. The second woman was a brunette, who danced to songs like "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" from Moulin Rouge. She came out in a giant feather hat and a fur, and later splashed around in a giant martini glass (which I would LOVE to do, like Beyonce does in her video, but I digress.) The last was a brunette and she was more curvy and natural looking than the rest. She danced to smooth older classics like Otis Redding and Etta James and the Righteous Brothers. She was by far the prettiest, and danced the best.
A long table of judges watched them all, observing crowd reactions. While all of this was happening, other girls would either dance and gyrate on the smaller stages, or mill though the crowd doing lapdances. All of these girls looked 100% bored. (The contestants at least looked like they were having a good time.)
By then it was after midnight, and I had to work at the library the next day, so we left. When we walked outside, there was a line about 50 long of people waiting to get in. I guess they were at capacity inside and could only let people in as others came out. Yeeks.
So that was my first stripper experience. The whole thing was indeed very interesting. There are a lot of beautiful girls who are totally comfortable being naked and sexy, and more power to them. Maybe I'll be so confident someday. But oddly enough, watching them was entirely unsexual. Its all just too surreal and public and weird. Maybe its a guy thing, I dont know.