From February 2nd

Last night we went to Mayslack’s 8th annual Elvis impersonator contest. The show had a starting time of 8 pm on the tickets, so Jeremy and I thought it would be fine to get there anywhere between 8 and 8:30. He picked me up from sculpture class, we got there at 8:05 and the place was PACKED. We had to wedge ourselves into a corner of the crowd, peering between heads to see the Elvises. The house band started immediately or even before 8, the tables were full (you could buy a table for four that included front row seats, 2 drinks each, appetizers and a poster for $100 total), the standing room in the side bar was full, and more people kept coming in. It was roasting hot and there was just no room to move. Piper came about 20 minutes later, and squeezed her way in. Vicki and Dave came 15 minutes after that, and it took them a while to even get where they could see us and see the stage. About halfway through, some folks went into the other part of the bar, so we could move around and shift our coats a bit. Since being in Ghana, I don’t have many personal space issues in public. But had I not gotten used to jamming into a hot trotro, I would have felt completely claustrophobic. I was fine, but it wasn’t really an environment where I could talk to the people with me until the band took a break and folks cleared out.
There were about 12 Elvises, mostly in the fat-middle-aged-jumpsuit-big-belt-Elvis era, several very gay old Elvises, two women (one butch and one scary older woman with a Crystal Gayle length rattail of black dreads who screamed “YEAH RASTAFARIANS” after her song, and who apparently won the competition a few years back), a blind Elvis and plenty of people would couldn’t sing for shit. But they tried. The house band played lots of Elvis songs in between while the band leader got progressively more drunk and silly. Some performances felt a bit like performance art, like they were deconstructing the essence of Elvis. Other performances felt like we were watching a crazy person, or even sadder—like the singer had practiced this number all year long and this show was the highlight of their entire lives.
The finalists were the two women, blind Elvis who had a bitchin’ homemade jumpsuit with those fringes with beads on them like they did on bandanas 15 years ago, red jumpsuit comb-over Elvis, and a young guy who sounded most like Elvis, had a great voice, had a professional jumpsuit and a rocking belt and crazy poofy Elvis hair. The finalists sang a second song before the judges chose the winner. The women were 5th and 4th, blind Elvis 3rd, and the young guy won the competition. However, red jumpsuit combover Elvis won second place ($200) and he was wicked happy about it, pumping his arm and yelling “YEEAAHHHHH” in the bar like it was the pinnacle of success. The owner wanted the winning Elvis to sing a third song before all finalist Elvises reunited on stage to sing an impromptu medley of some kind. Sadly, we left before the medley. It was after 11 pm and I had to work.
I took pictures if anyone wants to see them, although it was pretty damn dark in there.
We’ll have to make it a tradition and go every year, although we’d show up MUCH earlier than we did last night. The night was so fun--such great people watching. Maybe next year I’ll even make a jumpsuit in Art club, poof up my hair and join the competition as another female Elvis. (Thank you, thank you very much.)